No, this is not a story about Rory and Tiger. Rory McIlroy and Tiger Woods are still long, long time away from falling under the category “very senior golfers”.
This is a story told to me by a dear friend of mine, about a husband and his wife, both very senior golfers of some faraway golf club in some faraway place.
One late afternoon at the golfers’ terrace at their small 9-hole club, while enjoying their pints at the golfers’ terrace at the club house, the two were talking fondly about their old times.
Husband: Tell me darling, in all these long years as my wife, have you ever cheated on me?Wife: Of course never, dear! How could you even think of such a thing..
Husband: Aw c’mon, you can be frank with me. We’ve been married 50 years now and I love you so much nothing can come in between us.
Wife: Oh ok then, I must admit I did. But only three times, and every time I did it for you. You are not angry with me, are you?
Husband: Of course not. So tell me.Wife: Well…remember, you said “What I’d give to be the club’s youngest ever champ at the age of 30”? So the night before the match I slept with Peter the defending champion. That was the first time.
Husband: I remember that very well. We were all square as were standing on the 18th ree, and then at the last hole Peter three-putted from 6 feet, and I won the championship. And the second time?
Wife: Remember when you said “What I’d give to be the club’s youngest ever secretary at the age of 40”?
Husband: (face reddening…taking big gulp of the beer) …and to do that I must beat the other three candidates…
Wife: Yes, I knew it meant so much to you so I thought “what’s a little sacrifice for my beloved husband” so I went to sleep with the three candidates…oh, I’m so sorry darling.
Husband: No, no, it’s really ok. After all, you did it for me. No wonder the three of them withdrew at the last minute and I won the post uncontested. And the third time?
Wife: Remember when you said “What I’d give to be the club’s youngest ever chairman at the age of 45”?
Husband: Sure I do. Tom was the only other candidate. I won with 60 votes, Tom got 15. I see now, so you went to sleep with him?
Wife: Of course not with Tom, darling. I only slept with each of the 60 club members so that they all voted for you.